I place another ornament in the tree and sway my hips with the music as I make my way to the wing back chair next to the fireplace, glowing with warmth. I sip on my glass of wine and hum along with the song on the radio. Christmas time is almost here. As I sit with my glass of wine in hand, my eyes zero in on the cinnamon scented candle flame waving around with a life of its own. Thoughts of family and friends quickly turn to thoughts of my dream for my own little family one day. Last year, I thought the exact same thing. That by this time next year, I’d be a mommy.
There’s really nothing else in the world that would make my husband and I happier, but to have a child. We have been blessed with so much in our lives, but there’s still such a big piece missing that we just can’t forget about. It’s a need, a desire and a hope, that one day, we’ll become parents and have a child to love. Christmas is a joyous occasion for many. For us, it’s one of those holidays that remind us of exactly just how much time has gone by since we first began our adoption journey.
My eyes scan over the gold and red ornaments on the tree to those who just don’t seem to match the set. The funny part is, those ‘out-of-place’ ornaments are my favorite ones. They are the ones with all the memories and the stories. They are the ones with the most meaning, the irreplaceable ones that you look up and down and around your house to find the box where you stored them the year before. They are passed down from generations and markers of special events. In our tree we have my husband and mine’s ‘baby’s first Christmas’, as well as, an ornament for the day we moved in together, our wedding date and our honeymoon. We’ve somehow managed to immortalize specific events and memories that mean so much to us, that we want it on display for a few months of the year on our Christmas tree for all our family and friends to see. We look forward to the day when we can add a little stocking on the mantle of the fireplace and a new ‘baby’s first Christmas’ ornament in the tree. No matter what age our child will be, the day we become parents will be the day our dreams come true.
Call me optimist, but I’m still hoping that by this time next year, we’ll be parents.
DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed in this blog rests solely with the author(s). Adopt4Life, Ontario's Adoptive Parents Association, is an association which operates from an Anti-Oppressive framework (AOP), and which is inclusive of the various populations and groups found in our community. Blogs are meant to provide opportunities to present various opinions/perspectives and is not intended to represent the opinion(s)/stance(s) of A4L.