It’s insane how often I hear negative things about birth moms. Many people have said that they must be awful people for giving up their children. Let’s get one thing straight: birth moms never give up their children. They place their children for adoption. There is a massive difference.
Birth moms love their children unconditionally and want the very best for them. When a birth mom can’t provide that for her child, she makes the toughest decision of her life to place her child with a family who can provide everything the child needs. Sure, it would be easier for a birth mom to not part with a piece of her heart but she knows that this is not in the best interest of her child. So, a birth mom, acting completely selflessly, puts her needs aside and places the needs of her child first. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.
Here’s the other part that makes me mad. When someone is supposedly supporting us in our journey to adopt and wants us to be successful but puts down birth moms, that’s unfair. How can someone expect a birth mom to place her child with us so that we can have a family but at the very same time criticize her? People need to understand that if we become parents, it will be because a birth mom placed her child with us. She would be the reason for our happiness. She would be giving us an amazing gift. How can you not love someone for doing that? How can you not be eternally grateful to her?
There are so many reasons why a birth mom would choose adoption but unless you’ve been in her shoes, you can’t judge. I’ve heard nasty comments about birth moms being unstable, unloving, that there must be something wrong with them. Comments like this are made by people who are closed-minded and are unwilling to see things from a different perspective. It’s usually people who believe they are right and that everyone else is wrong.
My only advice is this: be open-minded. Allow yourself the opportunity to learn and to grow. Embrace the birth mom and the sacrifice she is making.