By: An Adopt4Life Community Parent
This year will officially mark our 5th valentines day as a family of 5. Its hard to imagine how far we have come, both our children in their healing and in their attachment as well as my husband and myself in our parenting.
Before we became parents, I dreamt of the day that I could leave special treats out to celebrate these small occasions, special heart shaped lunches, chocolates, matching outfits and shower them with hugs and kisses. Although of course I would be lying to myself that I wouldn’t be giving them this everyday (as much as they would let me at least). In our adoption journey, attachment with our children remains at the forefront of our lives. How we choose to parent, respond and react has become a delicate dance. Between using attachment parenting, learning self care—yes real self care—and keeping the lines of communication open with on another.
What I have found however, is that the attachment with our children had become front in centre of our lives over the past few years, that it was easy (perhaps easier than I care to admit), that the attachment between my husband and myself, could be brushed to the side. As such, this blog is dedicated to all the parents out there, to ensure that we are in fact continuing to work on our relationships (weather that be your spouse, friends, family or yes, even yourself).
Although I do not claim to be an adoption expert, I can speak from my own experience. Making sure that you take time for yourself and your significant others in your life, can be instrumental in your own mental health, and in many ways, teach your child or children what a healthy relationship can and should look like. Often for parents who are raising children from hard places—hiring a babysitter on a whim, just isn’t an option, so in turn my husband and I have been able to come up with “at home” dates such as:
- Movie on the couch with our favourite junk food
- Making a meal together when the kids are down
- Laughing (and sometimes crying) at how crazy the day was
- Doing special things for one another (eg. Filling the gas up in the car or doing an extra load of laundry)
Together as a family we have gone though a lot. And I know that having a support system has allowed me to get through the really tough times. So today, as we shower our kids with a little more love, please take some time to send some to yourself, and those around you…attachment at every stage and age is so important!!