In early 2013, my husband and I were full of hopes and dreams as we contacted our local Children’s Aid Society with hopes of adopting. We were told it would take around a year and that only those who wanted babies or were specific with age or gender had to wait longer for a match. We were hoping for a sibling group and didn’t have a preference for age or gender so we assumed that it wouldn’t take long.
After a year of no matches and being told there just weren’t any children that were even close to being adopt ready in our area, we started losing hope. We asked about talking to agencies outside of our area, but we were very strongly discouraged and told to just wait – that a match would come up. We starting looking on AdoptOntario’s website but never felt connected to any children. Until a few months in when we found the profile of a sibling group of three. We requested more information and talked to the sibling group’s worker. We were so excited as they sounded like a great match. We were so disappointed to learn that we were not going to be considered as a potential family simply because of our race. The children’s profiles remained online for a few months afterwards. This was so concerning for these children whom we could have provided safe, happy and loving family.
We started to feel like we were never going to be matched, and expressed our concerns to our worker, only to be told over and over again to just be patient. We were matched a few months later with a child within our agency, but the child was not a match for us for so many reasons. We deeply struggled with the ultimate decision to not pursue the child. When we informed our worker that we didn’t feel like this child was a match for us, we were called into a meeting with her and her supervisor and we left in tears. This process was harder than we ever imagined it would be. We are grateful for the support of a strong adoptive community around us.