A Note From Someone Who Cares

"originally appeared in www.fromtheeyesofthechild.wordpress.com"

Dear Adoptive Parents,

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The time that you thought might never arrive has come! You are officially a parent. A mom. A dad. A family. But it’s not everything you expected is it? The crying and screaming in the middle of the night, the feeling of  not belonging in your own home? Those are all real feelings! They are normal. But you are special. Because of you…your beautiful child will have the opportunity to:

1. Have a family that loves and cares about them. Something that some children on this Earth will never be lucky enough to have. But YOU chose them. YOU chose to open up your hearts to someone you didn’t know.

But guess what? I am willing to bet you loved that child before they were ever placed in your arms. That you had plans and dreams for that child to one day do great things. To make their contribution to the world, just as you are.

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2. Be the kind of person that you raise them to be. As an adoptee with a closed adoption, I can only wonder what my life would have been like in comparison to what it was growing up. For me it’s safe to assume that life couldn’t have been much better. Sure there were bumps along the way.

Life is not meant for perfect people, it’s meant for people working to become perfect. One of my favorite quotes is “It’s not about being at the top of the mountain, it’s about the journey to the top”. We don’t expect you to be perfect parents or to have answers to every one of our questions. It may seem like that sometimes but, trust me when I say, we are so grateful for you.

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3. LOVE YOU! Because of you we learn how to have a healthy relationship. To love someone who is worth and deserving of our love. Growing up, we get to look over at the bench to make sure that you are watching our every move in a basketball game. We want you to be proud of us. We want you to see us proving to you that we LOVE YOU! Sure this may be harder for some of us to verbally say, but don’t ever doubt for any second that this ins’t true.  You are the reason we have a story to share. A reason to live.

 

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So yes, I’m sure times get tough and it feels like giving up would be the easiest option. But guess what, we will never give up on you! You are our parents and family. We LOVE YOU! Even through the crying and screaming and everything else we do to try and torment you, we love you.

So to all of you parents who are just trying to get to bedtime… Just know that you are loved. From a girl who did the same thing to her parents… This too shall pass. The even better times are sure to come. But enjoy the journey. Write down the funny things we say, record them; because one day you will be able to turn around watch those and just laugh.

From your #1 Cheerleader!

Christine