We need more support networks like this one in order to assist awaiting parents and adoptive parents become the best parents they can be to children who deserve nothing but the best.
To any person who is reading this, no matter where you are in the process, please know, that no matter what, do not stop fighting. And that yes, there will be days where you will want to throw in the towel. Don’t. Just, don’t. You have to get up and try again. Why? Because that's what us parents do!
This isn’t about blame. This is about recognizing the many ways our processes could be improved so that we get kids out of care and into permanent homes in a timely more effective manner.
Ontario knows how to do it right! Adoption is a long process – the completion of the process shouldn’t be the only requirement allowed in order to be consider a family. Too often, we overlook what is right – A family in the process of becoming AdoptReady could be the perfect match!
Riding the foster system is scary and very alone. You feel as though you are in a very dark place and you never know if tomorrow is the last as a family. There were so many court dates that never amounted to anything. 2 trials came and went. Then at age 4, she became a crown ward. Nearly 2 years later at almost 6 years old she still has no permanency. We still wait for the adoption to be finalized.
I often feel guilty for wanting something that comes from someone else’s loss. It seems strange to want something so badly, and that in order for it to happen, another person has to go through pain, grief and even a crisis. Adoption is as excruciating as it is beautiful. It is love and it is loss. I feel guilty and I feel desperate. I have to keep thinking that things do unfold as they should, and people are brought into your life for a very special and specific reason - if they are meant to.
We have decided that this ARE (Adoption Resource Exchange) will be our last. We desperately wanted to give our youngest daughter a sibling for her to grow up with and for us to love, but we can’t go on waiting for a placement phone call that only seems to happen when we have finally reached the point of taking up our lives again.
Five months later (post ARE), Ashley and Joe are resigned to the fact that they are not being considered for any of the sibling groups. They never received any response.
A year ago, Jennifer and Michael shared their experiences as awaiting parents. They were told by the children’s aid that they would be “dinosaurs” before they would adopt a child. They are happy to report that a few months ago, they were selected and transitioned 2 beautiful children into their home.
But only days before the boys were to come to their home for the first time, they were blindsided by a call from their worker — the boys’ current foster parents, who were also extended family members, had changed their minds about permanency. They had filed a CFSRB complaint asking that the agency allow them to keep the boys in foster care, rather than placing them in a permanent adoptive family.
As parents and educators, we are the ones who make a difference in the lives of our children. We are the ones who are out there advocating for our children and making a difference in their lives. Grab every opportunity you can find, learn what you can and pass it on.
Adoptive Family Camp by Camp Hermosa is a great opportunity for families to learn, share, gain support and celebrate fostering and adoption with each other.