Sibling Openness

By An Adopt4Life Member 

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My wife and I adopted a sibling group in 2015. Initially during our journey, we knew nothing about openness. We had discussed it during our Pride sessions but never really gave it much thought. We put in an expression of interest during an ARE and were interviewed for a sibling group who had extensive openness with their birth parents and siblings. We felt nervous about this because we didn't understand. Although we were not selected for this group, it started us thinking about what openness could look like in our family.

When we were matched with our children, we were informed that they had continued openness with their siblings. We were nervous (mostly because we didn’t know much) yet excited. Our children, from the day we met them, they were so excited to share that they had brothers.

We made an informal agreement to continue openness between the siblings. We set it up to see one another for birthdays, holidays and school breaks. Our first visit with their siblings, it was so beautiful to see the connection between them all. The eldest were so attentive and loving towards the younger kids; the younger kids enjoyed the time playing and dancing around. We got a beautiful photo of all the children sitting on a slide from oldest to youngest and the smiles were just so beautiful. They just seemed to mesh so well together.

Our children know and tell everyone who will listen that they have "brothers who doesn't live with them". They are honoured to share tidbits about them and how much they means to them. They are so proud to be a family.

I am glad we have openness with siblings as it offers our children a connection to their biological history. They have memories and experiences with their siblings that we were not present for but we can share in those times together now. It gives our children a sense of identity and pride for where they come from. Openness, although it has been a new journey for us, isn’t one I’d trade for anything.