Our adoption story started in 2008 when we found out we could not have biological children. With this new understanding, we decided to move ahead with adoption as our first option over infertility treatments.
After all of the paperwork was done and the PRIDE (Parent Resources for Information, Development and Education) training complete, we were chosen to be parents through a private adoption agency within only four months. We were thrilled to be chosen as adoptive parents so soon. After 10 years of waiting to have a child, our dreams were coming true!
We were asked to be in the birthing room with the birthparents and were so excited to see the birth of our baby boy. After a couple of days we brought him home from the hospital and introduced him to family and friends. However, after a week of having baby Samuel home, his birthmother changed her mind and wanted her baby boy back. We were devastated. We could not imagine losing Samuel after having come to love him so deeply.
When Samuel left, we had two major costs to pay. There was a counseling fee from the private adoption centre for costs incurred during the adoption as well as costs to end the adoption and close the file. These charges added to the emotional trauma we were feeling. There were no post-adoption supports and services to help us at that time. The adoption practitioner encouraged us to get through this as best we could. My doctor was even less supportive, recommending I return to work to get my mind off things, instead of taking some time to grieve the loss.
If it wasn’t for our strong faith in God and the prayers of friends, family and co-workers, this story could have ended badly. Just three short months later we were picked for another adoption through the Children’s Aid Society. This time we were blessed with a baby girl, Lucy. During the 21 day waiting period we prayed a lot and were even more intentional in spending every second of the day with her. We saw it as a miracle when we were able to officially say she was able to stay. There was a lot of celebrating!
We are grateful to have an open adoption with Lucy’s birthmother. She is an important part of our family and we have set up 2-3 visits a year to spend time together. The relationship between us has grown over time. Lucy is now a fun thriving 5 year old who loves to sing and dance.
We are so thankful for the help and advice we have received from our Children’s Aid worker. We are also grateful for the support of our monthly adoption/fostering prayer group at our church, the adoption support group through our local Children’s Aid, and the community of Adopt4Life.
Supporting others on this journey, we are available by phone to connect with anyone else who experiences an adoption reversal. A support we feel would have been invaluable to us when we experienced our adoption reversal with Samuel.
Ever hopeful, we would love to welcome another child into our family, making Lucy a big sister.
We encourage change that will give #Support4EveryFamily, as strong, empowered families make for strong, empowered children.
All of Ontario’s children deserve nothing less.